British/American English

A British-educated colleague at the school I used to work in grew agitated when her computer marked the word “orientated” in her report in red.

“What is this?” She shouted at the machine. “Why is it in red? Miss Nancy, come look at this broken computer.”

“Sorry, the program is correct,” I said. “’Orientated’ is not a word in American English. It’s ‘oriented.’”  

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!” she wailed, grabbing her forehead with both hands. “I’ve already changed my “-ise” to “-ize” and dropped the extra U—now I must drop whole syllables?!” 

“Yes. Try this one on for size: Americans say ‘aluminum,’ not ‘aluminium.’”

“Cretins. All of you.”

S to Zed and drop the U

Part of my friend’s 7-no wail was about American words that end in -ize, words like “organize” and “apologize.” The British versions are “organise” and “apologise,” with that cute little S trying to sound like the final letter of the alphabet, which she would say was Zed. It took her quite some time to train her brain to make the substitution, but she maximized (not “maximised”) each Z (nee Zed), and minimized (not “minimised”) her Ss.

She also had to train herself to drop the U in words like “colour,” “flavour,” and “armour.” We liked to comment on how we knew a candy (or “sweet”) came from a British company when we saw the word “flavour” on the label. “Armour” only popped up when the curriculum covered knights and chivalry, which we approached with a sense of “humour” and good “behaviour.”

-RE? -ER?

British versions of English words that end in -re, such as “metre” and “centre,” stem from French roots. C’est magnifique, no? While we Americans are eternally grateful to the French for funding our revolution back in 1776, merci beaucoup, we have rejected the -re ending in favor of spelling this syllable how it sounds: -er. Their metre is our meter; their centre is our center. Vive la difference!

Of course, there are some of these leftover British/French words that seem to remain in certain American circles, one being “theatre.” Not every theatrical person or place embraces the French spelling, but since the Educational Theatre Association does so in its own name, I do too. Be aware, though. If you are going to use the term theatre in your writing, be consistent with the spelling. If you are going to use a specific theatre’s name, check how they spell it, British, French or otherwise.

Vocabulary

In one of his early stand-up routines, Steve Martin had one of those “this is so obvious it’s funny” lines about his trip to France: “Those French! They have a different word for EVERYTHING!” While Americans speak the same language as the British, there are times when vocabulary for everyday things and activities may make it seem more like Steve Martin’s observation.

Here are just a few American to British translations, starting with my favorite category: food.

American Word          British Word

fries                             chips

chips                           crisps

cookie                         biscuit

dessert                        pudding

candy                          sweets

pants                           trousers

sweater                       jumper

vacation                      holiday

cell phone                   mobile

elevator                       lift

movie                          film

flashlight                     torch

soccer                          football

thanks                         cheers/ta

Writing in British English?

If you don’t stone-cold know British English or whatever English vernacular you wish your characters to speak, either find a good source to help you keep it real, hire a native speaker as an editor, or leave it out.

Who knows? With a little help from your mates, your writing might pull a blinder, and Bob’s your uncle—it’s dench!