Apostrophes Do Not a Plural Make

I’ve been on blog hiatus for a while because I’ve been a bit busy. The biggest reason is my daughter got engaged! Because she lives in Western PA and the wedding will be here in Southwestern CT, a lot of the legwork is falling to me, and it’s honestly been a pleasure. Mostly. 

One day I was looking at a highly recommended, super-elite venue’s website. Being a budget-minded mama, I went directly to the price chart. Here is a redacted version of that chart.

A Range of Reactions

A normal person would have: 

1. most likely not noticed anything out of place

2. ignored the error

3. said, “Who can afford that?”

4. done all the above

But we proofreaders are not normal. It’s stuff like this that drives us to drastic measures.

Proofreaders:

1. shout sarcastic questions like, “What does Friday own? Or Saturday? Or any other day?”

2. curl our toes and proclaim to the screen, “It’s not a contraction!”

3. write messages to the vendor advising them to delete the apostrophes on their website

4. done all the above

I’m true to my calling. I checked off option 4.

The Four Most Common Correct Use of Apostrophes

1. To show possession (singular)
   Use an apostrophe at the end of a name or a noun to show ownership.
   Example: Rosie is Judy’s puppy.
   Here we see that Judy owns Rosie; Rosie is the puppy of Judy.
   Example: Rosie is the girl’s puppy.
   Rosie belongs to the girl (most likely Judy).

2. To show possession when the name ends with an S
   When a name ends in S, add an apostrophe and an S to show possession.
   Example: Cait is holding Marcus’s hand.
   See the S at the end of the name Marcus? He is the only Marcus. Marcus is a singular word; therefore, he needs an apostrophe and another S to show he owns the hand that Cait clings to. 

3. To show possession of a plural noun ending in S
   When you have a plural word and want to show possession, add an apostrophe after the S.
   Example: The girls’ soccer game.
   The soccer game of the group of girls needs an apostrophe to make it all theirs. I wonder if one of them is Judy who owns Rosie or Cait who holds Marcus’s hand.

   1. To create contractions
      Use an apostrophe to take the place of letters omitted to make contractions.
      Examples: 
      COMMON CONTRACTIONS
      will not >>> won’t
      they would >>> they’d
      let us >>> let’s
      it is >>> it’s
      cannot >>> can’t

Three Common Mistakes with Apostrophes

1. In decades and years
   Decades and years do not use or need apostrophes.
   WRONG use: the 1970’s, the 50’s
   CORRECT use: the 1970s, the 50s

2. With possessive pronouns
   Pronouns that show possession do not need apostrophes. They’re built in. Go figure.
   WRONG use: your’s, their’s, our’s
   CORRECT use: yours, theirs, ours

3. Plurals (ATTENTION EXPENSIVE WEDDING VENUE!!!!!)
   An apostrophe does not a plural noun make.
   WRONG use: We will be open on Saturday’s.
   CORRECT use: We will be open on Saturdays.
   WRONG use: You should bring your own fishing rod’s.
   CORRECT use: You should bring your own fishing rods.
   WRONG use: Check the plug’s on the computer’s.
   CORRECT use: Check the plugs on the computers.
   WRONG use: There were seven CD’s on the table.
   CORRECT use: There were seven CDs on the table.

Back to the Story

Wedding venue websites want to collect your name and information to make a sale. Therefore, most of them have a section where you can contact them and leave a message. 

Girl Scouts taught me to start with something positive before suggesting an improvement. Being a good scout, I complimented the venue’s photos and said some admiring things and named people who recommended them to me. Then I explained that I was looking for a wedding venue for my daughter’s wedding. Finally, I put it out there that I am a professional proofreader and could not help but notice something that would give their site a more professional look. I framed it as “I’m reaching out to help your website shine” and pointed out that they should delete the apostrophes in their price chart as they are not needed in the plural form of the days of the week. 

The person in charge of sales responded, and I had to bite my cheek. Ready for her response? Here it comes…

“Thank’s.”

You can’t make this stuff up.

Want to hear what I wrote to the DJ?