Spelling Rulz!

The Broadway musical 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee features a cast of child spelling wizards in a satirical send-up of national spelling bees. The characters sing and spell challenging words ranging from “acouchi” (a resin from a South American tree) to “syzygy” (the straight-line configuration of planets) and an occasional simple word like “vug” (a hole in a rock). Each child is primed and ready with their skills and strategies for spelling the mundane as well as the highly unusual.

In real life, not all kids are spelling wizards, and with American trends of “creative spelling” for products, stores, on-line platforms, etc., we’re not really doing them any favors to help them learn how to spell correctly. That goes double for adults.

Incorrectly Spelled Mouthfuls

Let’s start with Dunkin’ Donuts. The first word is just fine as the apostrophe is in the right space to take the place of the missing G in “dunking.” Kudos. Then we come to the second word: Donuts. 

Now, you might be one of the millions of Americans who might wonder, “What’s wrong with that?” Listen, my children, and you shall hear…

The original spelling of the word is “doughnuts,” and historians have theories about the creation of the word. One is that Dutch bakers used to place a nut in the middle of dough to hold a center hole to create their hand-held pastry rings. Others profess it is an abomination of “dough knots,” one of the many shapes those same Dutch bakers made with their sweet pastry dough. (Source: “The History of Doughnuts” by Bethany Moncel)

Regardless, because of the proliferation of the storefront shops, both the traditional and the trademarked spelling of doughnut/donut are now considered acceptable in writing. Just not on English class spelling quizzes.

Another chain of doughnut shops that boasts a creative spelling in its name is Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. Notice how they spell doughnuts the traditional way—even if nobody ever uses the word as Krispy Kreme has become a proper-noun substitute. “Hey, can I have one of the hot, fresh-from-the-oven, original glazed Krispy Kremes?”

Having been an English Language Arts teacher in the South, home turf for Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, I cannot tell you how many 6th graders misspelled both “crispy” and “cream” in their writing assignments and quizzes. They simply pointed to the green and white box they brought to bribe the teacher.

People spell “fruit” F-R-O-O-T and cite the toucan on the cereal box as evidence. “Cheese” is now C-H-E-E-Z (often preceding “Whiz” or “-It” or “Doodle”) and leaves a gooey or powdery substance on your fingers. And nobody can order a fillet of chicken sandwich these days without eliminating most of the letters and inserting hyphens and oddly placed capital letters in the name.

Dropped Letters

Lots of online companies create original spelling for their names on platforms and products by dropping letters, quite often with ironic implications. Famous companies that have eliminated the letter E include tumblr and flickr. tumblr is a site used by writers/bloggers who, as a rule, use the letter E fairly often; hence, the irony. The A (as well as a space) is missing from reddit, a site where people go to write and read things. Two vowels and a space are missing from the music sharing app, nwplying. Vowels carry sound in spoken words and sung lyrics, so, again, there’s the irony. 

Alas, the poor words “and” and “are” almost don’t matter any more! At one point, you could count on an ampersand (&) as a replacement for “and” (e.g., A&W, K&S, S&H), but no more. Now there are single letters; gone are the A, D, and/or E from many a storefront and product container. And who can predict which letter might be capitalized or where the apostrophe (if any) will be placed? For some fun, try looking for Shake ‘N Bake at a Linens-n-Things next to a Toys R Us while listening to Guns N’ Roses.

Internal Capital Letters and Word Mashes

Apple takes the prize on this with their iPads, iPhones, and other i- products, even inspiring the tween television show “iCarly.” AutoZone, CarGurus, and CarMax come to mind when thinking of automobiles and auto service. There are online newsletters named NewsBrief and EdWeek, so even educational companies are jamming words together with midway capital letters. Heck, I chose to name my company NancyProofed! 

WHY?

Scientific research tells us that elimination of letters or unusually spelled words disrupt the brain; it creates what is known as cognitive dissonance. When the brain is forced to spend a moment or two on incongruity, its interest is piqued. Thus, the brain is more likely to remember the word or concept because it took the time to process it. Misspelled words create memories, folks!

What’s a writer to do?

  • Do your research.

  • Never assume certain words will be spelled traditionally.

  • Honor trademarked names.

My top piece of advice is to hire a proofreader and provide them with a guide sheet that outlines which spellings you prefer for incongruous words. We proofreaders train our brains to find these kinds of spelling errors, and we do the legwork on brands. We might still shake our heads, but we will make sure it’s spelled the preferred way.

A Bonus Spelling Rulz Story

My sister Patty began reading at age three. Her decoding skills were nothing short of genius for a toddler (thank you, Sesame Street), and her wordsmithery continues to serve her well today in her career as a highly respected journalist.

Toddlers often create their own pronunciations of words, and three-year-old Patty endearingly used to say “Willword’s” for the store “Woolworth’s.” 

One day, as Patty sat in the “way back” of our family station wagon, we passed said store. She called out the letters on the sign and asked Mom (in the way front), “Hey, Mom, W-O-O-L-W-O-R-T-H-line-S. What does that spell?” 

Mom answered, “Woolworth’s.” 

Patty nodded and knowingly said, “Oooooh, Willword’s. Silent T.” 

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Apostrophes Do Not a Plural Make