Gender-Neutral Personal Pronouns: True Colors
At my recent college reunion (notice how I’m not saying which number this one was…), we were lucky to catch an art exhibition by current students about gender identity. The entrance to the exhibit packed a powerful punch: a wall of participants’ spectacular self-selected headshots and bios. On the bottom corner of each artist’s panel was the student’s name, a bio that included the artist’s thoughts about art and gender, and, finally, the artist’s personal pronouns.
I could go on for hours about the fabulous art in the exhibit, but since this is a blog about language…bring on the personal pronouns.
When artists—or anyone, really—lists their personal pronouns, they are telling the world that those are the specific personal pronouns they use for themselves and want others to use when referring to them in the third person. The most common examples include:
he/him/his for those who identify as male;
she/her/hers for those who identify as female;
and they/them/their and theirs for those who identify as gender neutral or gender inclusive.
Some writers struggle with using a plural pronoun when talking about one person, but it’s important to note that it has become acceptable practice in many cases. However, there are situations that specifically refer to one person and one person only. In that case, what’s a writer to do?
Frequently Used Gender-Neutral Personal Pronouns
While the English language does not yet have a “standard” gender-neutral personal pronoun, people have created several options. Two sets that have been used frequently are “zie” and “xe.”
There are several other options, but none has found wide range or standard usage nationally. For reference, there is excellent gender-neutral pronoun guidance on the GLSEN website: www.glsen.org
Why use gender neutral pronouns in writing?
There are several reasons to use gender neutral pronouns.
Gender neutral pronouns support inclusion and provide language for anyone whose gender identity does not fall into a binary male/female system.
It is a way to show respect for the individuals about whom you are writing. If possible, find out the pronouns they use and implement them in written work.
Sometimes the gender identity of the person being written about is not the primary focus of the writing. It’s not that it is unimportant, but rather the focus is on something other than gender identity.
Sometimes you don’t know the gender identity of the person.
The Art of “Writing Around” Pronouns
Just as the artists in the exhibition used their art form to express thoughts, opinions, and ideas about gender in their lives, writers should artistically tackle gender-neutral pronoun challenges.
As mentioned earlier, it can be imperative that the singularity of the person is noted in pronoun usage. The 2020 Seventh Edition Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association (APA) and the Chicago Manual of Style (CMOS) offer several ways of doing this. Here are my takes on a few.
Singular “They”
The first solution is to use “they” as a singular pronoun. Hey, it’s been done for years, and even the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary offers its blessing. According to the APA, using “‘they’ helps writers avoid making assumptions about gender” (p.121).
After the artist selected a palette, they plunged a brush into the paint.
The child requested the green crayon, and the teacher gave it to them.
The artist threw their balloon on the canvas.
The scientist watched as the subject lifted the clay themselves.
If it does not fit, you must OMIT
Whenever possible, design the sentence so there is no need whatsoever for a pronoun.
Embrace redundancy
Just use the noun. Over and over again. And then use it once more.
This practice can become pretty clunky, especially if somebody has an extra-long name. If you don’t agree, try reading Arlene Mosel’s children’s story, Tiki Tiki Tembo and learn how an extremely long name can pose a safety risk! (Spoiler alert: everything turns out okay. It is a children’s book, after all.)
Use the multiplicity charm
This not only works at Hogwart’s, but it works in everyday writing as well. The trick is to find a way to turn the singular noun into a group or plural noun. This might not work well when talking about a specific person (like our Charlie above); however, it works particularly well when making generalizations, or changing the noun to the group the noun represents.
Be the boss of the world
Use imperative language. Instead of singling out one person, make it a general command for anyone in that position.
Use person first descriptive language
Sometimes we want to leave our readers guessing about the character’s gender, and that provides an opportunity to practice our craft. Start by putting “the person” first in the phrase and then use words that paint a crystal clear picture. It can be a lot more fun than using a simple pronoun!
Go minimal
APA and CMOS both discourage use of “s/he” or “(s)he.” To borrow my own word from earlier, it looks clunky, and it offers no more specificity than using “they.” Also avoid “he or she” unless absolutely necessary; if you do use “he or she,” do so with a light hand. Again: clunky.
Hot glue guns ready
Gender-neutral pronouns exist in a linguistic collage, borrowing from many sources to create a wholistic work of art. My own personal preference for nonfiction is to ask the person about the pronouns they use and honor those, leaning toward the singular “they.” In fiction, decide how the characters would identify themselves and use those pronouns. Whatever style you choose, do so with artful respect.